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LGBT
FriendSupport

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Just someone to vent to?

Let us know.  

We will be here, to do what we can.


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about lgbt friendsupport

WORLDWIDE FAMILY

 We are a family...from from cradle to tomb. My best friend in the world lives in Adelaide, South Australia, and I live in Boise, Idaho. He is still my best mate, and my brother.  We are FAMILY.  We need to realize this and help each other be strong in our struggle against prejudice, ignorance, foolishness, and downright stupidity!  We are here to support each other and will try to help all people rise up together in happiness, harmony and understanding. 

WORLDWIDE ACCEPTANCE

I have great faith in people; that when they understand we all must share this tiny planet, sharing it and  coexisting peacefully, they will LEARN to live together without chaos, blame, or hate.  Miss America will finally get her wish of World Peace.  We have survived horrors before, and we can again...BUT WHY MUST WE?  Why must we live through the pain and agony of hate?  Why can't everyone realize we are one family, working towards one goal?  Why should we feel the need to fight and ruin the only home the human race has?  

WORLDWIDE LOVE

If we accept each other as we are, we make the human race stronger and better.  Perhaps one day each person should lose the ability to see any colors:  white, black, red, yellow, brown...the WHOLE RAINBOW!  Is your coffee not perfect because you have a gay waiter?  Does your  PC give you the wrong answer because you had a Latino service tech?  Is your newspaper impossible to read because it was delivered by an African American?   The simple answer:   NO.


And don't the questions seem kind of silly and stupid?  Simple answer:  YES!

important info and news of lgbtfs

DO YOU NEED TO TALK WITH SOMEONE RIGHT AWAY?

Nobody to turn to?  Text HELLO to 741741


Free and Confidential

PLEASE SUPPORT LGBT BUSINESSES

Many LGBT-oriented and friendly businesses have sprung up reently.  Sadly, many have not survived this time of turmoil in our great nation.  I will not give names at the moment; that is not my decision to make without speaking with the other adminiatrators; but I know of several businesses.

A SPECIAL GUEST WRITER SHARES HER EXPERIENCES WITH US

We have the privilege of reading of one woman's experiences in her transition, as well as the situation of transsexuals in her native country of Germany.  She holds a high-ranking position in... well, I will let her tell you!

MY THOUGHTS, HOWEVER UN-ORIGINAL

It CAN BE an ugly at times, and we need to be there for each other to survive.  Barbra Streisand said it so eloquently in Funny Girl, when she sings PEOPLE:

A feeling deep in your soul,

Says you were half; now you're whole.

No more hunger and thirst, 

but first be a person who needs people.

People who need people...

Are the luckiest people in the world.


MY HOPES AND DREAMS

I dream that one day,  our skin color, our sexual orientation, our gender identity

JUST WILL NOT MATTER!

(And PLEASE don't make me say that some of my best friends are straight!!)

Can you tell me--empirically--what makes you superior to any other member of the human race?  And that includes the disabled, as well.  

SO PLEASE,

stop the bullies as well.


THINGS WE NEED, TO STAY VITAL AS A GROUP!

I am still asking for submissions of any type, whether they be your life story, poetry, a song, or perhaps just thoughts you jot down to share.


I also need volunteers to help in admin and moderator positions, so Taylor, Benjamin and I don't get so bogged down that we feel helpless.


Email me at lgbtfs@gmail.com, or message me directly via facebook, and we will talk about it.

germany: one woman's story

Interacting with the world, one person at a time...

I first spoke with Ms. Scwabedissen in mid-October, regarding registration of a website domain name I had previously purchased.  I felt that some of my trans brothers and sisters might wish to hear what someone else might have had to endure.  In the meantime, we have kept up a light and cheery correspondence.  I (obviously) asked her to share some of her story with me, which she graciously has done.  I have also told her that I would forward any comments--both positive and negative--to her, so if you have any comments, please email them to lgbtfs@gmail.com.

Pia Schwabedissen:

 My name is Pia, I am 56 years old (* 1962) and live in Germany near Cologne. I was born as a boy and in 2015 I finally found the strength to do the step that I dreamed about since i was a child.
Since then I live happily as a woman and my life has not collapsed as I have always feared throughout my life.
In January 2015 I outed to my family, friends and colleagues and after a healing break of 6 months, I resumed my work in August 2015.
In March 2016, I officially changed my name and gender and received my new ID cards, driving licenses, credit cards, etc.
Since May 2016, I have been in cosmetic treatment to remove the whiskers. The cost of at least $ 30,000 carries my health insurance.

The costs of my gender-adjusting surgery were also covered by the health insurance. The surgeries took place from February to August 2017. After complications during the first surgery, I had to undergo a second and a third unscheduled surgery, so that I had been operated 4 times. Nevertheless the result is infinitely beautiful and deeply satisfying. I would always choose this way again! In May 2016, I got to know my current girlfriend, with whom I have lived very happily for over a year now. I experience this as positively as the kind, interested and motivating reactions of my colleagues and many friends and acquaintances. I am a police officer (Detective Captain) and I have always believed that I could never take the step with this profession. But it has been completely different. I have received wonderful reactions from my colleagues and I am doing my job completely unchanged. My over 80 year old mother has now accepted it as well as my older sister. I have a wonderful relationship with my 25-year-old daughter from my first marriage, she was the first to experience it and gave me courage. My first wife has become a best friend to me. In my free time, I engage in a community for trans-men (female to male). Here, during my outing, I met some wonderful people and found the help and encouragement I needed. I have finally arrived and live my life as I have always dreamed. An infinitely large load has dropped off and I live as free as I want to be! 

I asked Pia if she would tell us about the situation in Germany. She writes:

 Bret asked me to write a short overview of the situation of transsexuals in Germany, which I enjoy doing.


Since 2015, I have been in contact with some transsexual police officers in the US. I met some of them at an international congress in Amsterdam in August 201

Therefore, in the last two years I have been able to follow the situation of transsexuals in the USA and I am immensely glad that my situation is comparatively easier and more regulated in Germany. 

The public acceptance is much better and many things on the way of transition are regulated by law. The costs of psychotherapeutic accompaniment and other medical treatments are covered by the health insurance. Nobody makes a public hunt for transsexuals, neither politicians nor media. The interest is often even very large and so I have already made a TV documentary about myself to improve the understanding of the life, thinking and feeling of transsexuals. 


Since the eighties, awareness of the needs of transsexuals has grown steadily in Germany. Psychologists, endocrinologists and surgeons, along with health insurance companies, have developed a binding guideline to support transsexuals on the path of transition. The decision to live as a woman / man at some point often leads to a life crisis. Therefore, there is often a psychotherapeutic treatment at the beginning of the path, which turns into psychotherapeutic counseling / support after the crisis has ended. This is available to every transsexual, the costs are covered by the health insurance. Nevertheless, transsexuality is not treated as a disease. The health insurance companies cover the costs, as transsexuality can lead to (mental) illness or even suicide if the sex can not be changed. Transsexuals have the legal right to change their name and gender. The so-called transsexual law is constantly being developed and adapted to the current state of medicine and society. The change of name an gender only requires psychological expertise. In a short court case the new personal details are determined. Thereafter, the transsexual receives the new ID cards, a new birth certificate and EVERYONE is required by law to use the new personal details and to change them on request in old documents or to reissue them (certificates, etc.). The costs of the psychological expertise, the court proceedings, the new ID cards and all document changes must be coverd by the transsexual himself. They amount to about $ 2,500. On the recommendation of the psychotherapist, the hormone treatment can be started, the costs are also covered by the health insurance. For trans-women (man to woman), the costs of beard removal and sex-adjusting surgery are covered by the health insurance. For trans-men (woman to man), the costs of the more complex sex-adjusting surgery are much higher, but are also taken over by the health insurance companies. Until a few years ago, an existing marriage was forcibly divorced. A same-sex marriage between two women or two men was not possible if one of the partners had changed his gender. Until recently, it was forcibly converted into a civil partnership that did not include the same rights and obligations of marriage.
Same-sex marriages now are possible in Germany since October 2017, so that two people who were previously married to one another can continue to be married even after the gender change of one of the partners.
 As already written, our way, the law, the social and medical aids are still in motion and we certainly have not reached the end yet, but we are on a good way.
Today the life of a transsexual in Germany is worth living and carried by society and law.
 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bret again:  My feelings on my interactions with Pia can be summed up very concisely:  Fantastic to work with, and I will continue to do so, as long as she is willing to work with me!


Ich spreche auch ein bisschen Deutsch: Fantastisch, mit zu arbeiten, und ich werde dies auch weiterhin tun, solange Sie bereit ist, mit mir zu arbeiten!


I also have her article in her original German; I will ask her if it is okay to give copies to whomever asks.

please read, consider, and do the right thing

Coll P Stone writes:

My dear, wonderful and amazing sister Nanette Elizabeth Sage went to  OliveGarden and this is the letter she sent to the CEO of Olive Garden...Who knew that Olive Garden is Transphobic.. 


Well I pledge I will not be eating at any Olive Garden till this issue is resolved..

Do you pledge too? if so please share this post


Thank You
Coll P. Stone 


(Letter to the President/CEO of Olive Garden)


Dear Gene Lee,
(President & CEO of Darden - Parent Company of "The Olive Garden" along with many other companies and Restaurants),  I am writing to you because today (September 19, 2017) my sister and I had an experience that both of us found exceptionally disturbing and unacceptable.  My sister had purchased a $25 Gift Certificate for me and today, I wanted to use that certificate with her at our local Olive Garden. Your restaurant touts it's "Family" environment consistently.  My sister and I are all we have left.  Our Mother, Father, and brothers have all passed on. As such, we look forward to our get-togethers, for neither of us know how long we will still be here.  She and I both have enjoyed your Restaurant in the past and were looking forward to spending a few hours together at it again. Every time we went in the past, we were always treated with respect and attention. We were treated well enough that it was not uncommon for us to leave a hefty tip for the waiter/waitress even. 

That was PRIOR to my transitioning. That is right, I am transgender.


Today though, things went quite differently. My sister was a head of me and got into the restaurant prior to me (I was locking up the car and such). When she went in, she requested a table for 2. As she was given one of those timers that buzz when the table is ready she was told it might be as long as 20 minutes. Additionally, while being handed the buzzer I approached the reception stand to let my sister know I caught up to her ("hey sis, I see you got all in hand"). The Receptionist glanced up to look at me, along with the few waiters and waitresses that were standing nearby. The receptionist was courteous as we went to sit and wait for our turn to be seated. It was busy in the waiting area, so at that point we went outside to wait. We stood outside for perhaps 5 minutes or so before we decided to use the cushioned couches provided to your patrons when waiting for a table. As we sat, we watched as all the patrons before us were seated. As with any one waiting for a table in a restaurant, we were anxious (happy) because we knew our turn was very very soon. After all, the patrons prior to us arriving were now all seated, and only new patrons whom came in after us were coming in. We were next. Or…that is what we anticipated. 

We sat and chatted awaiting our turn to be seated. While waiting, we watched as every patrons who was seated before AND AFTER us were seated. Groups of 2, 3, and 4. Elderly couples, women with kids, young couples, people in business attire, and so forth were seated. As for presentation, both my sister and I were dressed very professionally. We both have very excellent hygiene, and we both are very friendly and courteous to others. Yet, we watched for 40 minutes as the waiting area inside and outside was cleared out of patrons. We sat alone in the waiting area with the receptionist glancing at us nervously, periodically. We watched as new patrons came in, and when asked for a seat for their party, the reply they got from the Receptionist was, "sure, no problem, we have a table available right now", of which the waiter or waitress standing nearby watching gladly came and took the NEW patrons to their seats.


We watched as the receptionist turned to send them off with a waitress/waiter only to glance at us and turn away in discomfort at seeing us sitting there. 

After 50 minutes of waiting. After 50 minutes of watching newly entering patrons get seated, did we finally leave. Handing the buzzer to the receptionist, I said, "I am sorry but this is not working. We have been sitting for nearly an hour now and no one has even tried to get us a table. We are leaving". The receptionist took the buzzer and just stood there and watched as we left. A sign of relief on his face. As I left I could not help but wonder who would have put that poor man into such a position of stress. Why would any Manager expect their Receptionist and/or Waiters or Waitresses to do that to someone? Such unearned insulting degradation.


I had no idea Olive Garden was Anti-Transgender.


I am insulted and hurt for such treatment. Do you have any idea how horrible it is to watch as your own family sees you treated so badly. They sit totally bewildered as to why any company could or would be so disrespectful or bigoted. The feeling of emotional pain was indescribable as she saw first hand her sister being discriminated against. She was both very hurt for me and exceptionally angry. As she and I left, she kept saying, "Why, they don't know you. They don't know how wonderful you are.  All they see is a transgender person.  They have no idea how loving you are.  This is so wrong.  Why would anyone hate you like that?". 

The ONLY reason we were there for 50 minutes was due to MY desire to give the Restaurant a chance. I chose to try and rationalize the logic as to why we were ignored for nearly a full hour.  Patron after patron coming in, and getting seated. Our presence fully seen and acknowledged.


I had no idea Olive Garden was as Anti-Transgender as it is. I am shocked that Olive Garden does not recognize how insulting it is to their reputation to be so. Being in California only made it worse, for, here in the Bay Area, I have grown up with such a diversity of people that of all areas I would expect a lack of bigotry, it would be in the industry of Restaurants where diversity of Clientele are expected. Sadly and unfortunately for your company, I do not plan to return. My sister is going to try to get her $25 back for the Gift Certificate, and I shall be letting all of my Transgender friends know what to expect when they to go.


Mr. Gene Lee, I hope to get a response from you, for I can't express what a massive disappointment this was for someone who basis their reputation upon being a "Family Restaurant".


I will watch for your response.


Sincerely,
Nanette Elizabeth Sage

 

a lovely thought to share with all

Colors of the Rainbow

In the colors of the rainbow 

All the faces that are unknown 

We walk proud no matter where we go 

In the colors of the rainbow  


People will try to bring us down 

But we know how to stand our ground

Don't be afraid to look around 

Just look at what we've found  

In the colors of the rainbow  


United we are one 

We just want what everyone else does 

To be loved  

To be heard 

Not to be kicked to the curb 

Just because we're meant to love 

Differently than some of us 

It doesn't mean that we should pay the price 

Or have to make any sacrifice 

United we are one  


Be proud of who you are 

Never be ashamed of your scars 

They only show you've lived a life 

So keep on living don't think twice  


In the colors of the rainbow 

All the faces that are unknown  

We walk proud no matter where we go  

In the colors of the rainbow 



~~Dee Willingham



NEW STUFF

Just my older daughter...

PERSEPHONE...QUEEN OF THE UNDERWORLD


You came to me first, and kind of rocked my world

By showing me how unlike animals

Humans really are.

You seem to love everyone you meet

With no holds barred,

Nor strings attached.


Can you teach all of humanity of your gift of loving unconditionally?


Or are we doomed to failure as a race?

yet something more new to read

AN ODE TO A SPOILED KITTY CAT

Oh my little Evillene...how your name fits you so!

You know what to do to make me mad,

Yet you can be such a love.  


Why can't you be like your sister, and behave your bad self?

Are you trying to be a bad bitch...

Or missing your broom and monkeys, like that wicked witch?


Your beauty sometimes makes me forget 

That in your breast beats the heart of a yeti...

Cold and hard....and as of yet, untouched.


But someday, when least you expect it....

I'll actually be nice and let you outside,

Where you don't belong.


The squirrels seem to scare you as they run and play,

And I know you don't like the neighbor kitties 

As I watch you run them away.


But I KNOW you love me just as I am,

And your uncle Oscar and my other beaus...

Animals we all should be,

And not learn hate or fear of other living things or people.


We should be able to live in peace and love our entire family.

More stuff (just off the cuff)

To the Men I Love

Yes, the men I love,

because my heart has much room in it;

many spaces for many people.


Yes, I have named my fiance more than once

but he is not the only man I have ever loved,

or ever will love!


I haven't the time nor space

to list all of their names...

Nor would or should I.


Let it suffice to say that

if I say those three words,

I will truly mean them.


And there are some men out there,

I do not feel I have the right to say them,

since we work together as a group; as friends.


But, to all the men that are special to me

I will once and for all say:

I  LOVE  YOU.

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LGBT FriendSupport

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